Mommy fears...

So lately I have been beyond stressed trying to figure things out for myself, Tristan, and baby #2 (Still no name chosen yet). We live with a friend right now because I have no job or income (we have state assistance for food and medical) to get my own place. I wanted to try and get a job but with Arthritis, black outs, and headaches that occur about 90% of the day... it's very difficult and I know that they would end up firing me. I'm considering applying for disability for my arthritis but I feel so unsure about it. I want to have a place before this baby comes because we can't stay here after the baby comes and it is too stressful living here. Chris barely helps except with diapers and wipes twice a month and barely sees Tristan. I am working on filing for child support as well. 


I'm just not sure what to do anymore and I'm worried. I have almost no friends nearby except the one I live with and we both make each other irritated and upset a lot and I never can get away. Sorry about the rambling, this is honestly the only place where I can pour everything out. 


On a happy note, look at this cutie:

24 weeks

So it has been... awhile. I think almost 2 months but my insurance was accidently shut off and that caused many postponed appointments. So here it is... I'm 24 weeks now. I'm starting to feel more and more pregnant each day. Also I've been having head pain, lightheadness, and almost blacking out. Doctor says the head pain sounds like Tension Headaches so too much stress... wonderful *Note the intense sarcasm*. There's been a lot going on. I live with my best friend and her family, Tristan's talking more, he also has tantrums from hell at times, plus I've had to deal with stress from Chris. Raising a 2yr old while pregnant on your own is not easy, esp. when all the dad does to help is give diaper/ wipes money every 2 weeks (working on child support). Hopefully things get better soon.

How far along? 24 weeks

Weight gain/loss: 160lbs. gained 10 of the 20 I had lost back. Now my doctor can leave me alone and stop trying to get me to drink those Ensure drinks hahaha.

Feeling: Pregnancy wise I'm feeling good aside from some moments of nausea but no puking so that's a plus.

Maternity clothes? Nope :) I feel so lucky this time.

Sleep: Still sleeping the same.

Food cravings: I have random cravings but that's it.

Movement? There was barely any movement except at night until my best friend, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend felt him kick. Now the kid doesn't stop haha. *Another side note: 16yr old boys react to baby kicks hilariously. That boy had the most freaked out look on his face, I can only imagine when he has kids.

What I miss? Drinking as much coffee as I want... haha

Best moment this week: There have been a few funny moments so far this week (it's only Tuesday you know) but none of them any of you would understand because they involve way too much back story.

What I'm looking forward to: Only thing I'm looking forward to is PieCon this year... yes I'm a geek. Tristan's grandpa (on his dad's side) throws it every July and even though Chris and I are not together, I've been told I am invited still. Tristan has a special shirt and everything :).

Next Appointment: July 17th. I believe that's my last once a month appointment and then I will start going every 2 weeks.


They said I'm moving along great and his heartbeat is great. I have to have another sugar test in a month they said because my family has a history of diabetes. I'll try and do another post soon but right now, I have a toddler getting into trouble *sigh*. Oh I want to change my blog name since I will no longer have just a little monkey boy. My mom I believe is doing lions for this one (I wanted the Lion King crib set so bad and she knew) so Jungle themed is looking like the theme but I need a new name. What do you all think?

19 weeks

How far along: 19 weeks


Weight gain/ loss: I believe I'm still about 154lbs


Feeling: Good most of the time


Maternity clothes: Not yet :)


Sleep: Lately I either wake feeling like I under-slept or I over-slept


Food cravings: None, just still always hungry haha


Movement: I can feel him moving around sometimes


What I'm looking forward to: October haha :)


Next appointment: June something... I really should find my appt slip




And I know you all remember me saying my next ultrasound was the 11th, well it was and it was an anatomy one so can you all guess what God decided to bless me with??


Yep, another boy. God must know what he's doing because I'm now terrified of when puberty hits... I am not sure how this is going turn out haha. His name has not been offically decided but the choices are Jordan, Ethan, or Riley and personally I'm leaning more towards Ethan :). So here's 1 of his ultrasound pictures, I'm only posting one since they gave me 4 and they all looked the same. So enjoy :)

P.S. I will be doing a Tristan post soon-ish I think because he recently started an Early On program and an Early Head Start program and had his hearing checked.

Update on Tristan

So lately I've been watching Tristan and he has been changing so much that I can't keep up. I might have to re-start my once a month update posts again because there's so much (his speech is kinda sorta moving). Everyday people at stores tell me how he looks older than 2 and that he's such a young boy. I was at the store yesterday looking at toddler clothes (he's in 3t- 4t though less and less 3t as time goes by) and I was deciding on summer clothes I want for him that we can't buy yet and realized that I only picked out plain shirt and shorts. Every time I looked at the shirts with designs and sayings they just seemed so... baby-ish. I realized I no longer see him as a baby or a toddler, to me he's a little boy. I think for shirts I'm going to check out the boys section for their 4/5 extra small shirts this summer. I can't believe how much he has grown... 


Here's his little update list:


Weight/ Height: we're guessing 3ft tall and he's 33lbs BUT it's all height. He still has a size 2t waist.


Clothing size: 3t/ 4t, shoes: 7.5-8


Interests:

• anything with wheels
• animals
• Mickey Mouse clubhouse and Jake and the Neverland Pirates
• drinking from regular cups and water bottles
• game systems: PlayStation, Sega, Nintendo, etc
• singing... seriously we can't turn the radio on without him singing along
• basketball

Potty Training: that's still on hold til beginning of June.

Oh and we're supposed to be going to a wedding sometime soon and I'm not sure how this is going to go hahaha.

15 weeks

So I am finally updating on my pregnancy...


How far along? 15 weeks

Weight gain/loss: 154lbs. I've actually lost almost 20lbs...

Feeling: Great most of the time. I get nauseous if I don't eat soon enough when I'm hungry and carsick sometimes but that's it.

Maternity clothes? Not yet, then again I didn't need them with Tristan til like 25 weeks for maternity jeans and 30 weeks for some shirts. 

Sleep: I'm tired a lot but I'm only sleeping 8hrs or less a night because that's all my body can handle without over-sleeping.

Food cravings: nothing. I'm just hungry... a lot. For a couple weeks I was craving KFC but that stopped.

Movement? I've felt some moving around but nothing huge yet.

What I miss? Caffeine. I still have some occasionally but not enough.

What I'm looking forward to: May 11th- next ultrasound and hopefully will know the gender

Next Appointment: May 4th

Me at 14 weeks :)

So I know I've been MIA...

So the last 2 weeks have been... crazy. Yea, we'll use that word. Here's what's been going on lately...

• Chris and I broke up mid- February. longggggggg story (apparently he's already moving on...)
• Found out I was pregnant a week later and that went bad
• Got kicked out and moved into the shelter the last day of Feb. So no internet or anything unless I'm at my friend's house or the library 
• Tristan and I are sick

So yea... I'm 10 weeks pregnant, living at the shelter with a 2yr old, so life is pretty crappy right now. I don't have my camera cord so the only picture I have for you today is my ultrasound :)

9 weeks 5 days

52 weeks of us: our 5th week

So I'm linking up again with Summer at The Crosbie Crew for 52 weeks of us. So here you go :)