So I know that not many of you know much about me or my family due to my huge lack of blog posts so I have decided to write a post about us. Warning I can be very random and lose track of what I'm saying half the time but I will try to make everything as understandable as possible and will try not to get too overly personal.
My name is Karen, I'm 23 (24 in June), and I'm the single mom of 2 boys: Tristan and Emmett. I grew in Massachusetts til I was 11 and still have family there and love visiting. Being a single mom I know isn't as much of a big deal as when my mom was raising 2 kids alone but she was divorced and that made her situation more understandable. Now the father of my boys and I never married, we were engaged when both boys were conceived and when Tristan was born but never married. There have been times where I wish we had been married and others when I'm glad we weren't. I feel that at 19 I was not completely ready for the world waiting for me in terms of relationships. He was my first real relationship. Now I believe that if we had both worked to fix our issues in our relationship, we could still be together but that was not the case. A good, healthy, working relationship needs to have both people wanting to make it work. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean however that I regret my boys and I never would wish to change things. Yes, I understand what I should have done and what choices were wrong or could have been fixed but I don't dwell on that. My sons do not see their father much but they have a great support system and family who all love them. I do hope that one day their father will understand the love I feel for these boys and know what it means to truly give your whole heart to your children and put them before yourself. I do not want them growing up with the same father/ child relationship as me where he can't be bothered to see or talk to his children except holidays. Even today, if he's in a relationship with someone he almost never contacts us (though he sends gifts on holidays more often now than with his recent ex-wife). I do not want them to grow up not wanting their father in their lives. Also, I have learned in this past year of being a single mom that I do still need me time and friend time. Me time usually involves reading after the boys are in bed or searching Pinterest. Friends time varies from going to my best friend's house with the kids, her coming here with her and her girlfriend's little girl, or us finding sitters (that's what brothers are for right?) and going dancing. I also am putting more work into my appearance and trying to banish my "mom funk" and I still have weight to lose (20lbs). I try my best to make healthy meals though I admit we do resort to macaroni and cheese and such at times. I have also made myself feel better about myself by going through my Pinterest boards slowly and removing pins that I will probably never do and only pin things that I would actually do and can afford. I love reading non-fiction history, supernatural/fantasy and romance books. I love all types of movies except most horror movies (I'm a scared-y cat). If I had cable or good internet, I'd be sitting my butt here once a week watching Vampire Diaries and Big Bang Theory (who doesn't love Sheldon?) and whatever shows I've been wanting to check out. I need to replace my camera to satisfy my photography love (phone cameras are just not the same). I am a complete nerd and would rather watch Harry Potter, Avengers, X-men, etc than watch a romance (except my favorites). I have the hugest celeb crushes on Johnny Depp, Ian Somerhalder, James Franco, Daniel Gillies, Channing Tatum, Gerald Butler, Ryan Reynolds, Nathan Fillion, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, and David Boreanaz.
Now the boys, Tristan is 3 years old and is very hyper, rambunctious and easily excited. He is also at times the sweetest kid ever and is very sensitive at times. Last year he never cried when he got a scraped knee and now he gets very upset but I think he's just adjusting to understanding all his feeling. He was a late talker and at times he still has issues forming thoughts to words and the way you can tell is he'll start babbling really fast and you'll catch a couple words here and there. He loves gardening and helping and watching his grandparent's doing any construction work (currently it is the closets and fence). He loves all creatures and I say creatures because this includes animals, insects, fish, etc. He loves cutting paper with scissors (child safety ones) and I think it is a stress reliever for him since he is able to destroy something without hurting anyone (except his poor hair today). He loves blocks, cars, trains, and treating his stuffed animals like his babies. He is also a huge Disney movie fan and watches mainly the older ones on VHS. He also loves superheroes such as Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers (the original ones), and so on and has costumes for some of them and loves wearing them.
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| Yep that's right folks he did that himself. |
Emmett is 6.5 months old and is so far a very different baby than his brother was. I wonder if things will be easier with him since he already has become a troublemaker and Tristan didn't start being one til 1.5 years old. He is a very happy and enthusiastic baby. He is a loud coo-er and likes to be heard. He has zero interest in most of his baby toys and instead will grab Tristan's toys (preferably the play tools or trains). He also is a huge momma's boy and loves to cuddle. He is a small little boy. He has currently been wearing his 3-6 months onesies for 4 months now with no signs of growing out of them yet aside from his long sleeved ones. He isn't as ready for independence as his brother was (Tristan was crawling by 6.5 months and pulling himself up to stand and cruising along furniture at 7 months) but that is ok.
As a mom especially in the blogging world (or since being single) I have been worried about posting things about my life in fear of receiving judgement about my life. I know I'm not the only one who worries but I don't fear people judging me for supporting gay marriage since I deal with that with people I know, I don'y fear judgement on giving my boys formula (Tristan from 2-12 months and Emmett since birth plus some pumping though I wish I had known about how to do full-time pumping for a baby who wouldn't nurse sooner), using disposable diapers, using jarred baby food half the time, not co-sleeping or whatever else these mommy wars are based on. I feel everyone has the right to do what is best for their family. Just because I don't have the funds to start cloth diapering or nursing didn't get to work for us doesn't mean I expect everyone to be the same. I praise those women who can. I do however worry about judgement for being a single, never married mom of 2. I hated the questions while pregnant with Emmett about who the father was and so on. No one bothered to take the time to find out how far along I was and when my ex and I split. They just automatically assumed. I was lumped into the statistic of young moms who have kids by multiple men. I hated it because that was not me. Eventually I just gave up getting upset over the questions and just answered them with yes or no. Am I foolish for feeling this way? I know most of the blogs I read and love are written by wonderful moms that are also married women and I worry no one will understand how things are for me.
I have to say that the list above makes me smile every time I read 4, 12 and 14. I love all of them but those crack me up. I'm sorry for the super long post and I feel it was probably long overdue and I hope I didn't get too personal.
